Staying in is the new going out

Welcome to my 'Secret Snippet'! It's nice of you to drop by, and in this intimate space I feel I can be honest with you and tell you how strange it is for me to be feeling this degree of comfort, and absolute certainty – in the face of a decision just made. Two deliciously good Saturday night options; one birthday party of dear friend at gorgeous restaurant, one Winter Solstice party at favourite cafe with complimentary culinary delights, and community of like-minded souls – have both been declined.

Hmmm…hast thou gone mad? Did I really eschewed all this for the warmth and comfort of my little seaside haven?? Alone?! My! I must be getting old!! (That old chestnut! That was the ‘old’ me, the one who historically scorned the ‘stayers-in’ and lumped them dismissively with the moaners and nae-sayers. But the new me, the real me, who had finally revealed herself - “would the real Jodie Barrett please stand up” - after what equates to half a lifetime of hiding behind a whole buncha limiting beliefs, knew that this was the ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBTINGLY UNABASHEDLY BLATENTLY SELFISHLY DECADENT ACT – to end all decadence. It was - the new staying in!)

Bed with freshly laundered (and ironed!! What the?) linen, favourite tunes, King Island Brie and sourdough, a glass of red eventually followed by a steaming hot chai and Lindt chocolate – all complimented by the constant background rhythmic whoosh and occasional crash of the great tongue of sea, lapping tirelessly along the ‘cliff’s of insanity’, at the bottom of my garden. (I call this place 'the edge of the world', as it seems feasible that you might simply roll down to the bottom of the grassy lawn, over the edge, and into the sea, to be claimed as a trophy by the mermaids and dolphins whom I occasionally glimpsed there.)

Hmmm….where was I? Oh yes - decadent, because as my mind immediately, busily gathered and listed many gorgeous alternative things to do, I decadently declined them all! They were sitting ducks in my game of life and I picked them off victoriously – one by one by one. I relished the surge of excitement I felt as they appeared in my mind’s eye, a complete and exciting range of new options flooding my head, the list long and varied, and I still said ‘no’. Oh the power! It was like shopping with a great wad of cash in your pocket – able to buy everything you laid eyes on yet so satisfied with what you already had that you needed it not. Intoxicating. Rich. It certainly felt as I'd imagined great riches to be. Perhaps that’s just what it is? Hmmm… could it be that I have stumbled inadvertently, upon the secret ingredients for true abundance, and spiritual freedom – purely by reclaiming my ‘me-ness’ for the night, and saying no to ‘otherness’ and social status or interaction? Is it really that simple?

Why is it, I pondered, that we feel so compelled to constantly paint a picture of social engagement and popularity? To continuously participate in the social circus irrespective of stamina, hiding away from prying eyes and inventing a myriad of suitable excuses when we felt the need to withdraw. That we feel guilty or shamed by saying ‘no’ and ‘letting others down’, purely by exercising what is surely our birthright – to simply ‘be’ ourselves, 'be with' ourselves..

Years ago, in the height of my social butterfly-ness, I had, on rare occasion, required a night ‘in’, a retreat which didn’t involve wine, electronic music, any other stimulants or a bunch of friends to complete. I simply recognised my inner voice and need to ‘recharge’ and stop smiling so god-damned much! Urph! Man that takes effort! There were too many parties and not enough stop to punctuate them.

I recall on these occasions, the elaborate excuses that came out of my mouth. Not once did I simply say ‘I’ve had a busy day, I’m tired, and feeling a little like introverting tonight’, as I said to my friend Alex, tonight (the birthday boy). Being an introvert himself, he completely understood. And of course I wisely used his language which I knew would resonate and not require explanation! (oh the path of least resistance)

So here I am, decadently celebrating the big night in, by enjoying the start of my blogging career, and encouraging you too, to reclaim your 'you'-ness, your oneness, and join me in a celebration of 'staying in'.

Choose your target wisely. Saturday may be a stretch at first. Ease yourself in gently. Maybe try a Thursday or a Friday. Select your choice of ingredients, and comfort enhancers (go crazy). Then it is over to you, I encourage you to, in fact I implore you to seed your new self-empowerment, and redefine your boundaries by reclaiming what is rightfully yours – your time…your life. This moment, is all we ever really own. Put it to good use – be decadent!

Enjoy, celebrate, relax, recuperate.

From the edge of the world, with love.

Jodie